No Open Blockers

I’ve been boycotting the movies for about a year now. I don’t really like… well, people in general, so the prospect of sitting in my family room watching a movie three months after it was out in crowded, noisy theaters is really appealing. And with the recent flood of pure crap in the theaters, at the end of the day I’m still just watching Fight Club rather than renting the new releases anyway.

I do love the feeling of a good summer movie and was happy to realize that this summer shows promise. After poking around IMDB for a while, I came up with a quick list of potential summer movies to get me out of the house. Maybe.

• X-Men Origins: Wolverine – Actually, I’m already behind on this list. I just got back from seeing it. Surprisingly better than I expected. It had the cool explanation aspect that is usually reserved for the first movie in a comic book series with enough foreshadowing that you can pick up on because you know the story. Really excited to see what they do with the next ones about Magneto and Xavier. Though I have to admit, I’m pissed they didn’t get Sawyer from Lost to play Gambit. That would have rocked.
• Star Trek – Over the course of my life I’ve watched approximately 6 minutes of Star Trek. I’ve just never been into it. This one, however, has me pretty excited. It’s got the guy from Heroes, the guy from Harold and Kumar, and the guy from Shaun of the Dead (too damn lazy to look up any of their names). How can it not be good?
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – I have virtually no doubt in my head that this is going to suck. I loved the first one, it was the epitome of summer blockbusters. Sure, the plot made about as much sense as the ramblings of my 21 month old daughter, but seeing giant robots throwing each other through buildings kinda negates the need for a plot. That said, I’m afraid they are going to try to really out do the first one in this one, in the end producing a disaster of a sequel. Let’s just hope it doesn’t do to Pirates of the Caribbean (the first one was amazing) what its abominations they called sequels did.
• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – Anyone reading this site for longer than 3 minutes will realize I’m enough of a geek that this shouldn’t come as a surprise. This was my favorite book in the series and I’ve been pretty happy with the movies so far, so I’m hoping it doesn’t disappoint.
• G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra – A Transformers and a G.I. Joe movie in the same summer. I think part of my excitement is that it makes me feel young again in a year where I turned 30. Whatever the motivation, this has the potential to completely rock (like the first Transformers) or be a complete failure (like Spiderman 3 — someone needs to be publicly flogged for that one).
• Inglourious Basterds – Ok, so Quentin completely dropped the ball with Death Proof. It would have sucked on its own but was made all that much worse by having to follow Planet Terror which was simply awesome. But I’m still a big Quentin fan and this looks like it has some real promise. In short, it’s Brad Pitt kicking the shit out of Nazis in graphic gore. It’s like Fight Club 2. Except with Nazis.
• Ghosts of Girlfriends Past – A cookie cutter romantic comedy that is the theatrical equivalent of stabbing yourself in the eyes with a spoon. Anyone who thought for even a second that I was going to see this, please send me your IP address so I can add you to my firewall. And then go find the nearest person and ask them to slap you for me.